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Keith and Tara win Paradise Hotel Ultimate Prize
Here is a pic of the happy couple celebrating victory over the dark side. Toni was seen showering under a can of RAID. It did little to deflate her bulging eyes or ego. Game off, Yahtzee Nazi!
Crunch n Munch Dave dangles self in fit of jealousy
Captain Crunch n Munch Dave extorted as liar on Fox hit show Paradise Hotel was found dangling in Charla's Silly String, filled with his own puke, from the rafters of Boston's Fenway Park. City officials said it was the greatest waste of excess since the Boston Tea Party.

Zack new spokesmodel for Underoos
Zack has reportedly signed a two outfit deal with underwear giant Underoo's. He will be the proud bearer and underwear model for two forthcoming characters titled: missing link, and runaway teeth. He will also sponsor a zit cream called Trailer Trash Rash. Symptomatic of kissing desert trash cheerleaders. On a side note, he was unable to breastfeed since his momma dropped him off on a curb and never came back. He was a victim of the child sex wars traded for a crack rock.

Keith and Tara's Schedule
  • Sign autographs, 8/25, 7:30 pm
  • Good Morning America, 9/1, 7:30 pm
  • Late Nite with Dave Letterman, 9/8, 7:30 pm
  • Hard Rock Hotel Las Vegas, 9/17, 7:30 pm
  • Crunch n Munch Dave's Funeral, 9/30, 7:30 pm
  • Golden shower at PH losers party, 10/4, 7:30 pm--Homecoming
  • Jack Daniels with Amanda Byram, 10/15, 7:30 pm
  • Visit Amy in Women's Prison, 10/24, 7:30 pm

Andon, Beau and Alex caught in same sex scandal
The Daily News has announced Andon, Beau and Alex have been reportedly caught in same sex scandal. Smokey was last seen running from the scene - singed head to tail.

Scott and Holly Book Signing
They have nothing to say so it was easy to publish blank manuals of meaningless blabber. Holly's hand might finally come of use.

Sunset from PARADISE
Come to Mexico and join us at our new home - PARADISE HOTEL.